I was ill last weekend. Struck down by a heavy cold which went to my chest and left me feeling cold, weak and apathetic
I usually spend the weekend doing the washing the shopping the cooking the cleaning that I don’t get a chance to do during the week ( yes my life is that exciting)
As a result of being so ill I couldn’t be bothered to make my own dinner ( yes really ill) all that went out of the window.
As I surveyed a mountain of unwashed dishes and a front room I couldn’t possibly let anyone see, I thought I would let other single parents know (as well as Teen Boy and Teen Girl) what to expect when the single mummy machine breaks down.
- The dishes wont get washed. As you are the last person on earth who doesn’t have a dishwasher you will realise the dishwasher is you and you are broken.
- The washing will pile up. You do have a washing machine but no tumble dryer and the energy to load and unload wet washing will be beyond you. As for ironing you will remember you never did it anyway.
- The kids will expect all mummy services to be functioning as usual, the teens although sympathetic to your plight will still demand, lifts , money, your ear and food on the table. You will start to hate them (a little) for it.
- You will feel disgruntled, being a single mummy is a 24hr seven day a week job with no pay or holidays, which is fine when you are well and happy, but rubbish when you are not. You will feel fed up.
- You will long for the days of when you had a live in partner. When cups of tea and meals magically appeared from nowhere and the washing up was not your problem. You will remember when you had an Au pair and be wistful for those halcyon days your eyes will well up.
- You will watch trash TV on repeat (Say Yes to the Dress anyone?) and enjoy the formulaic mindlessness of it all because anything else is exhausting.
- You will pass on the free tickets you won in a competition to see Pharell Williams ( yes readers this really happened) because you are exhausted and can’t be bothered to queue with healthy people who have the energy to stand up for more than 5 minutes at a time
- You will struggle to get dressed and consider going to the supermarket (the fridge is empty) in your pyjamas. You will forget that there is such a thing as online shopping.
- The teens will claim there is no food in the house minutes) after you have been shopping when what they mean is there is no food which takes less than 2 minutes in a microwave to prepare. You will order Pizza.
- You won’t call anyone because you are too tired to talk.
- You will feel friendless as you have not spoken to an adult for days, this will not be true it’s just you are too ill to call then (see number 9)
- Your hair will stay gray for another weekend but you won’t care.
- The reading for work you planned to do at home this weekend won’t get done.
- Any cups of tea the teens make for you will taste like nectar.
- Getting the shopping finally put away after 2 will feel like a massive victory .
Is there anything I have forgotten?
So friends how do you manage when you are ill, on your own with the kids and you still have to parent them feed them and keep the house going?
Till the next time
Single Mum Dawn