Remember when you were a teenager. I do. I remember thinking I was very wise and that adults knew nothing, nothing I was interested in knowing anyway, how times change I am now really old and a single parent with 2 teenagers.
I love my Teen Boy and Teen Girl I really do they are kind talented and funny. They are brilliant company and a joy to be with but you don’t need me to tell you that bringing up a teenagers can be really tough. I struggle with untidy rooms and dirty laundry, if anyone has the answer to that please let me know.
Its half term and my Teens and I are on holiday this week, its winter and we aren’t going away, so we have been spending a lot of time together, well I say together we are in the same house they come down from their rooms for food and money. We are all still smiling just. So with this mind and with love I thought I would share with you 15 simple rules to surviving the half term holidays ( or any prolonged period of time) with teenagers.
- Keep them fed and hydrated, make sure there is simple to prepare nourishing food available at all times, a hungry teenager is a miserable teenager.
- Remember whatever you say or whatever you do it is embarrassing for them.
- Plan one trip with them it could be to see a film or going shopping it gets them out of their rooms and helps make memories. I am big on making memories
- Refrain from saying “back in my day”. They don’t care about your day it’s as relevant to them as the 1920’s are to you. They don’t know what a cassette tape looks like and care less.
- Listen, resist all urges to interrupt them when they are talking to tell them what you would do or about your experiences. I know it’s fascinating to you but they just want you to listen.
- Do not negate their fears, you know that they are talented and pretty/handsome you know that they are going to be a successful adults but they don’t and it’s normal for them to worry about it.
- You don’t have to win at all costs, you know that you win any argument easily, let them win sometimes it will boost their confidence
- Try not to lose it when they lose or break your stuff they didn’t do it on purpose.
- Spend some time alone with them. I know you are busy and have loads to do. I find that you have the best conversations when you are alone together
- Talk and talk often, talk about the world what’s important to them what they think about politics, I was surprised (and pleased) at how left leaning my teens are, I use the opportunity to talk when I am giving them a lift somewhere.
- Make an effort to spend time with them, I watch Match of the Day with Teen Boy and The X factor with Teen Girl, I know its television but it works and gives us a common interest that we share and talk about.
- Encourage them to see their friends it gets them out of the house and its good for them to have networks for when they are not in school.
- Be kind to their friends they are very important to them and provide them with support that you can’t.
- It’s natural to be wary of boyfriends/girlfriends, be supportive of any relationships during the good times and be there for your teens in the bad times.
- Enjoy! They won’t be a teenagers forever (they were babies just the other day!) They will eventually want to spend their time and their holidays with other people (sob) Cherish this time and you will remember it with fondness.
Do you have any tips for surviving as single parent with teens,if you have I would love to hear from you, leave a comment or contact me. I am looking forward to hearing from you
until the next time
It’s been a hectic couple of weeks I am still recovering from a very bad cold had a couple of asthma attacks (scary) been to see Teen Girl in a play (very good) and been to 2 nursing reunions ( brilliant) here are 25 things I learned about myself, others and the world
- Asthma can come from nowhere I last had an attack before I had children so wasn’t expecting it. If you have ever had asthma please have an inhaler at hand in case you need it, asthma is no fun and can kill you.
- Teen Girl is good at acting, I watched her in a school production and was very impressed by her and her classmates.
- Teenagers have funny ideas about the NHS and hospitals, the play was set in a mental illness word and the “patients” all had pyjamas on, looked like they had lobotomies, the doctors were sadistic and were literally armed with tranquilising drugs! Things have changed since the 50’s guys.
- True friendship is a precious gift I.had the pleasure of meeting up with people that I have been friends with for 25 -30 years. With people that I have with whom I have shared my brightest and darkest days the experience was humbling and enlightening.
- It doesn’t matter how often you see people true friends are always there for you.
- I used to have a waist!
- Teen boy is maturing into a lovely young man.
- Despite my marriage ending in recrimination and tears I am glad it happened I got 2 cool kids as part of the deal.
- I only have 2 friends who are still with the person they were with when I was 18 (Leessa, Simon John and Tracy I salute you).
- I used to get cabs everywhere, I don’t get a cab anywhere now , if I can’t walk get a tube or drive myself, I won’t go.
- A lot of my friends are or have been single parents.
- If it all ends tomorrow I have had a wonderful life
- I am happier now than I have been for a long time
- Selfie sticks have a button on the handle to take the picture ( I did not know this)
- I want a selfie stick they are fun.
- I love taking pictures
- Drinking wine during the day has consequences.
- I couldn’t work on ward again I am too old (and too tired)
- Nursing has made me the person I am today.
- The eighties was a great decade great music, bad fashions and lots of laughter.
- London is the best city in the world
- The NHS and all the people who work for it are wonderful.
- I am grateful for my heritage as the fabulous Naomi Campbell said “black don’t crack”
- Reunions are fun nostalgic but also bittersweet, people no longer with us were notable by their absence
- All in all it’s been good times! It’s 30 years since I started training as a nurse, a small town girl in a big city. I have had some amazing experiences and met some wonderful people. In the last 10 days I learned to count my blessings and that life is short and goes past in a flash. I know I have had a ball and to mis quote the Areosmith song “I wouldn’t want to change a thing”
Have you been on a reunion what are you thankful for I love to hear from you
Until the next time D x
It’s been a busy week. I am back at work full time after being off work ill. The teens are at their new schools and colleges and life is settling into an Autumn rhythm.
I have been rushing around, fitting in my daily commute, doctors appointments, hair appointments and an evening seminar along the way. In addition there is all the usual washing cooking and cleaning etc!
How do I do it? The answer is I usually don’t and some appointments get missed (hair and hospital) and the pile of ironing gets higher and higher. In truth I have good days and bad days.
So I have decided to turn over a new leaf and get organised using some of the strategies that have worked well for me in the past plus some new ones I have read about and would like to try.
So here they are my Single Mummy Life strategies for getting through the week.
- Begin each day knowing what you would like to achieve, be it geting out of bed on time or calling your hairdresser to make an an appointment, write it down if it helps.
- Review your diary before you go to bed. Know what appointments you have, where you need to be and what travel arrangements you need to make. This will make getting to sleep easier.
- Try to get eight hours of sleep, a difficult one this and something I struggle with, the best I can usually do is to be in my bedroom eight hours before I get up but it’s a work in progress
- Decide what you are going to wear tomorrow the night before, again I struggle with this but it does save a lot of time. My decisions are based on who I am going to see that day and how much walking I have to do.
- Know where your vital bits of equipment are, for me this is my keys my phone and my purse In an emergency I can manage as long as I have these things
- Make sure the kids know what their schedule for the next day iand encourage them to follow tips 1-5! Every morning Teen boy and Teen girl are looking for something they should have prepared for the night before and every morning I remind them off it . It is boring for all of us.
- Set the alarm for 30 minutes before you need to get up. Enjoy the peace and preview your day and congratulate yourself in advance for a job well done.
- Get up at least 20 minutes before the kids if they see you up and raring to go it helps them to get with the programme.
- Have something to look forward to, this could be coffee with a friend or a luxurious bath having something to look forward to will help you to get through the day
- Make a plan for the housework wether it’s doing a bit each day or having a blitz on Saturday morning ( that’s what I do) having a plan means not worrying about it.
- Decide what you and your kids are going to eat each day. There is nothing worse then coming in from a long day and not knowing what the family is going to eat. I have decided to have a meal plan for the week , my next objective is to have as much prepared in advance as I can ( I will let you know how it goes! )
- Read your post! I missed a hospital appointment this week because I hadn’t opened a letter! Don’t let this happen to you.
- Get some excercise even if it’s a 10 minute walk to the shop in your lunch hour. I count my walk to and from the station in the morning as excercise my next objective is to do some excercise at the weekend as well
- Drink! Make sure you hydrated drinking helps you with your concentration when you are feeling sluggish
- Utilise your commuting time, I have an at least 2.5 hr commute every day I have decided to use that time productively to read or write for my blog, listen to a podcast or to just rest, I am finding that I am now enjoying the time as an opportunity rather than a chore
- Include a hobby, there is more to life than work , housework and the kids (however lovely they are) my new hobby is photography which I can do on the go and during my commute hopefully it will eventually save me money on photos for the blog!
Well that’s the plan to get through the working week . Saturday’s my shopping cooking and cleaning day and Sunday’s all being well are for me!
What do think? Is it a good plan? Do you have any additional ideas that work for you? I would love to hear them so do get in touch and let me know.
If you like what you have read get in touch and let me know you can follow the blog here, on my Facebook book page or follow me on Twitter @singlemumdawn
I look forward to hearing from you
Until the next time 😊
Single Mum Dawn