Category: Single Mummy Life Dating

Single Mummy Life on Valentines Day 

Hello  hope Valentines Day is treating you well.
I was obviously overwhelmed with cards from secret admirers ( not). On a serious note valentine can be a bittersweet time for single parents especially if you are;

  • Single
  • Just finished a relationship
  • Contemplating or are in the middle of divorce 
  • or are just not with the right person for what ever reason.

I have been in all of those situations more often then not so if that’s your story today Happy Valentine’s Day I salute and celebrate you take care of yourself and remember what Oscar Wilde said “to love one self is the beginning of a life long romance” 😊❤️

Love to hear how you are spending you day

D

The Single in Single Parent

We are only 5 weeks into 2016 and I find myself single again.   

My 4 year old relationship ended suddenly and without warning but while the pain is still palpable I know it’s for the best. If there is no shared vision for the future there is no point. 
It’s still a shock to the system though. I have been writing about being a single parent for a while now but all the while with the security of having a partner albeit one that I didn’t live with.
Well I am now feeling the single in single parent now and my world is a little different. 

My ex is now out of the country and out of bounds in terms of emotional support with the children. The sense of isolation is sometimes overwhelming and my teenagers continue to be a demanding lot, it’s good in a way to know that the world keeps turning no matter what.

So this year is going to be a year of discovery a year of learning to be on my own to see if I can do it. Reconnecting with old friends developing my career and being nice to me.

If someone comes along hopefully I will be in a good place and I will know what I want and what I can give. 

Until the next time D

Single Mummy Life- I dated a Sex Addict (Once!)

In my previous post 40 Life Hacks for Single Mummy Life Life hack #27  was beware of still married men who want you to make them feel better about their lives don’t let it be at your cost.

Here is a cautionary tale about why I said that.

A friend of mine had met the love of her life on a free online dating site  so I decided to have a go.

I put up a profile that was very simple with  a rubbish picture so that anyone I knew wouldn’t recognise me.

Surprisingly I had loads of responses as I was totally honest about my kids my body type etc.

I  chose to go on one date with a guy  called Bill .

I have changed his name and to protect the innocent and to protect me! I don’t want him coming after me!

He looked fairly ordinary on first meeting  average looking, average height etc.

We had talked pleasantly  enough on the phone before we had met.  I found out been married twice and  that he was separated from his current wife and had recently split up from a girlfriend.

He flattered me, made me laugh, had a job, so I was looking forward to the evening what could go wrong?
Plenty! During the date he told me that although he was a born again Christian he had addiction to prostitutes and pornography which is why his marriages  had ended. This was about 20 minutes in!

I should have gone then really but it was all morbidly fascinating.

As I nurse I am used to people confessing their deep dark secrets. The nurse in me was interested in why this guy was committing dating hari-kari.

Perhaps it was because I was a nurse  that he felt comfortable, so comfortable in fact that during our meal he took a phone call from the girl he told me was in love with ( she was treating him badly) , told me about the logistics of queuing in a brothel ( you never see the other blokes apparently) and confided in me that his Dad had  Paraphilia (look it up) and liked having sex with women who  looked like their arms were broken with their  arms in sling!

I swear this happened but honestly  could you make this up?

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I told him that I didn’t blame his wives for leaving him as he was obviously a nightmare to be with. He told me I was very forward with my opinions but he liked talking to me as I was a good listener!

We went to restaurant on top of the Tate Modern which is lovely with a fantastic view I would highly recommend it, so I can honestly say it was the best and worst first date I had ever been on in my life!

We parted at the train station, he said he would call me. I said that would be nice (! why did I say that?) I went home.

Needless to say I didn’t see Bill again.

He texted to say I was lovely ( yeah yeah) but he was in love with another ( the phone call). I was relieved to be honest, it was  a lucky escape.

He texted again a few months later saying he had made a mistake, the love of his life was no more and could we go for a coffee.

I ignored it,  I haven’t got time  for people who text and don’t call, give therapy to the porn addicted with a familial tendency for weirdness or be a consolation prize  and anyway I didn’t like him.

Their are three morals  to this tale.

Firstly find out as much as you can about someone before you go on a date  with them and be wary if they are on the rebound.

Secondly make sure to go to a nice restaurant if the date is awful at least the food will be nice!

Thirdly don’t confess your addictions on the first date. It will ensure you won’t have another!

You’d think that would be enough to put me off online dating for life but it wasn’t (more another time) it really was a weird  experience I have got loads of mileage out of it as a dinner party story though, so every cloud…… 😊

Till the next time

Single Mum Dawn