Tag: singlemummylife

Singlemummylife on International Womens Day 2017

It’s International Women’s  Day and this years themes is asking us to #BeBoldForChange. The theme has made me reflect on the challenges and opportunities that (mainly) single mothers face how far we have come and far we still have to go in the quest for equality and inclusivity. 

 The website I have linked you to asks you to specify an area where you will be bold for change. The choices are challenging bias and inequality, campaigning against violence, forging women’s advancement, celebrating women’s achievements, and champion inking women’s education. I have pledge to celebrate woman’s achievement with an eye on all of the others. I hope you can  join me in making a commitment. 

My suggestion is that we also use this day to celebrate our achievements to question what still needs to done and to be bold in our ambitions and dreams for ourselves and for our children. 

Always happy to hear what you think D x

Single Mummy Life – A year In review -How  was 2015 for you?-

So you did it! You  made it through  Christmas and now its just New Years Eve to navigate and we are done for another year!  I am still on holiday from work  and its taken till now to finally decompress and relax.

So what shall we do now I hear you say? As 2015  draws to a close it’s time to reflect on the year that has passed and look forward to the new one.

2015 was was a  roller coaster  of a year for me  with  big highs and some  very  lows days  for me. I am not sure whether I am glad to see the back of it to be honest but I guess I have to be thankful for the highs and I need to reflect and learn from the lows.

So here is my Single Mummy Life  2015  review with both good and bad bits included.

The best thing that happened to me all year  was starting this blog  (and it is doing great) I have found a rich vein of creativity that has inspired me to do new things with my life,  develop new skills. connect with new people and  start a business it has been amazing , transformational and has definitely changed my life for the better.

Another wonderful thing that happened  was that I had a piece published  in a national newspaper.  The article was about my experiences of being the single mother of mixed race children and how  black and mixed people are represented in the media. It was also a lesson for me in grabbing opportunities as they are presented to you, a journalist asked to write something following a post in social media and although I was scared I didn’t  hesitate.and the results were fantastic foe me.

The children  are a massive part of my life and we have been through a lot together this year. Teen Boy finished school and started university and  is now getting paid to play rugby part time  which is a massive achievement and  a culmination of years of dedication and hard  work. Teen girl  got into the performing arts school of her dreams  which was like a  reality TV fairy tale  and she  has been so much happier ever since.   Don’t get me wrong  we still have our  challenges but its wonderful to see your children go through tough times and come out the other side smiling

Coming to terms with the end of my  marriage and feeling a failure because of it was one of the recurring lows of this year. I had busied my myself with work education and the children in years since my divorce, never really dealing with the emotional side of a very difficult time, my ex remarrying and moving abroad has allowed to time to heal time to grieve and time to move on

I moved to London 30 years ago so 2015 was a time to celebrate my  career and all the friends I met along the way. I had a blast at two Nursing  reunions and realised that I have had a fantastic life so far one that has been filled with love laughter and happiness .

So that was my 2015  full of highs and lows but mostly highs to be honest and with 2016 just round the corner I am looking forward to more adventures, more friends more opportunities and loads of fun

How was 2015 for you?  I would love to hear from you and how it was for you.  you can tweet me  or message me on my Facebook page or leave a comment below. I would be really pleased to hear from you and always reply to comments about my posts.  I want to take this opportunity to thank you reading my blog for your support,thoughts and comments it is much valued and appreciated.

As we look forward to the New Year. I wish you peace,prosperity and all good things

Take care of you

Dawnie  x

 

 

15 Simple Rules for surviving with teenagers

Remember when you were a teenager. I do. I remember thinking I was very wise and that adults knew nothing, nothing I was interested in knowing anyway, how times change I am now really old and a single parent with 2 teenagers.

I love my Teen Boy and Teen Girl I really do they are kind talented and funny. They are brilliant company and a joy to be with but you don’t need me to tell you that bringing up a teenagers can be really tough. I struggle with untidy rooms and dirty laundry, if anyone has the answer to that please let me know.
Its half term and my Teens and I are on holiday this week, its winter and we aren’t going away, so we have been spending a lot of time together, well I say together we are in the same house they come down from their rooms for food and money. We are all still smiling just. So with this mind and with love I thought I would share with you 15 simple rules to surviving the half term holidays  ( or any prolonged period of time) with teenagers.

  1. Keep them fed and hydrated, make sure there is simple to prepare nourishing food available at all times, a hungry teenager is a miserable teenager.
  2. Remember whatever you say or whatever you do it  is embarrassing for them.dreamstime_xs_33196543
  3. Plan one trip with them it could be to see a film or going shopping it gets them out of their rooms and helps make memories. I am big on making memories
  4. Refrain from saying “back in my day”. They don’t care about your day it’s as relevant to them as the 1920’s are to you. They don’t know what a cassette tape looks like and care less.
  5. Listen, resist all urges to interrupt them when they are talking to tell them what you would do or about your experiences. I know it’s fascinating to you  but they just want you to listen.
  6. Do not negate their fears, you know that they are talented and pretty/handsome you know that they are going to be a successful adults but they don’t and it’s normal for them to worry about it.
  7. You don’t have to win at all costs, you know that you win any argument easily, let them win sometimes it will boost their confidence
  8. Try not to lose it when they lose or break your stuff they didn’t do it on purpose.
  9. Spend some time alone with them. I know you are busy and have loads to do. I find that you have the best conversations when you are alone together
  10. Talk and talk often, talk about the world what’s important to them what they think about politics, I was surprised (and pleased) at how left leaning my teens are, I use the opportunity to talk when I am giving them a lift somewhere.
  11. Make an effort to spend time with them, I watch Match of the Day with Teen Boy and The X factor  with Teen Girl, I know its television  but it works and gives us a common interest  that we share and talk about.
  12. Encourage them to see their friends it gets them out of the house and its good for them to have networks for when they are not in school.
  13. Be kind to their friends they are very important to them  and provide them  with support that you can’t.
  14. It’s natural to be wary of boyfriends/girlfriends, be supportive of any relationships during the good times and be there for your teens in the bad times.
  15. Enjoy! They won’t be a teenagers forever (they were babies just the other day!) They will eventually want to spend their time and their  holidays with other people (sob) Cherish this time and you will remember it with fondness.

Do you have any tips for surviving as single parent  with teens,if you have I would love to hear from you, leave a comment or contact me. I am looking forward to hearing from you

until the next time

D x

 

Single Mummy Life- 16  Time  management tips for a busy working week 

It’s been a busy week. I am back at work full time after being off work ill. The teens are  at  their new schools and colleges and life is settling into an Autumn rhythm. 

I have been  rushing around, fitting in  my daily commute, doctors appointments,  hair  appointments and an evening seminar along the way. In addition there is all the usual washing cooking and cleaning etc!

How do I do it? The answer is I usually don’t and some appointments get missed  (hair and hospital) and the pile of ironing gets higher and higher. In truth I have good days and bad days.

So I have decided to turn over a new leaf and get organised using some of the strategies that have worked well for me in the past plus some new ones I have read about and would like to try.

So here  they are my  Single Mummy Life strategies for getting through the week.

  1. Begin each day knowing what you would like to achieve,  be it geting out of bed on time or calling your hairdresser to make an an appointment, write it down if it helps. 
  2. Review your diary before you go to bed. Know what appointments you have, where you need to be and what travel arrangements you need to make. This will make getting to sleep easier.
  3. Try to get eight hours of sleep, a difficult one this and something I struggle with,  the best I can usually do is to be in my bedroom eight hours before I get up but it’s a work in progress
  4. Decide what you are going to wear tomorrow the night before, again I struggle with this but it does save a lot of time. My decisions are based on who I am going to see that day and how much walking I have to do. 
  5. Know where your vital bits of equipment are, for me this is my keys my phone and my purse In an emergency I can manage as long as I have these things 
  6. Make sure the kids know what their schedule  for the next day iand encourage them to follow tips 1-5!  Every morning Teen boy and Teen girl are looking for something they should have prepared for the night before and every morning I  remind them off it . It is boring for all of us.
  7. Set the alarm for 30 minutes before you need to get up. Enjoy the peace and preview your day and congratulate yourself in advance for a job well done. 
  8. Get up at least 20 minutes before the kids if they see you up and raring to go it helps them to get with the programme.
  9. Have something to look forward to, this could be coffee with a friend or a luxurious bath having something to look forward to will help you to get through the day 
  10. Make a plan for the housework wether it’s doing a bit each day or having a blitz on Saturday morning  ( that’s what I do) having a plan means not worrying about it. 
  11. Decide what you and your kids are going to eat each day. There is nothing worse then coming in from a long day and not knowing what the family is going to eat. I have decided to have a meal plan for the week , my next objective is to have as much prepared in advance as I can ( I will let you know how it goes! ) 
  12. Read your post!  I missed a hospital appointment this week because I hadn’t opened a letter! Don’t let this happen to you. 
  13. Get some excercise even if it’s a 10 minute walk to the shop in your lunch hour. I count my walk to  and from the station in the morning as excercise my next objective is to do some excercise at the weekend as well
  14. Drink! Make sure you hydrated drinking helps you with your concentration when you are feeling sluggish 
  15. Utilise your commuting time, I have an at least 2.5 hr commute every day I have decided to use that time productively to read or write for my blog, listen to a podcast  or to just rest, I am finding that I am now enjoying the time as an opportunity rather than a chore 
  16. Include a hobby, there is more to life than work , housework and the kids (however lovely they are) my new hobby is photography which I can do on the go and during my commute hopefully it will eventually save me money on photos for the blog! 

Well  that’s the plan to get through the working week . Saturday’s my shopping cooking and cleaning day and Sunday’s all being well are for me! 

What do think? Is it  a good plan?  Do you have any additional ideas that work for you? I would love to hear them so do  get in touch and let me know.

  
If you like what you have read get in touch and let me know you can follow the blog here, on my   Facebook book page or follow me on Twitter  @singlemumdawn 

I look forward to hearing from you 

Until the next time 😊

Single Mum Dawn