I have been a single Mummy for eight years and loads of things have happened in that time. Some good things and some bad things.
I got divorced and I have fallen in and out of love (to) many times.
My children have grown into beautiful teenagers who are a joy and a challenge to live with.
I have had highs and lows in my career being made redundant 3 times and promoted twice.
I have struggled with my weight, losing 3 stone and gaining half of it back.
I have made friends, kept friends and unfortunately lost some friends.
I have also a started a couple of blogs and I am currently trying to make my writing hobby a career.
I have also learnt a lot about myself about live, love and my career, so I thought I would take stock and share some of the lessons I have learned with you in the hope that it will help you in some way.
So here goes
- Do not chase any man, the right man will find you, when you are ready
- If a man tells you something you don’t want to hear e.g. “I don’t want a relationship” listen and act accordingly (I have learnt this the hard way)
- Make time for your family they are a constant and will always be there for you
- Get some sleep, sometimes you will be so tired you will pray for unconsciousness
- Know where all your documents are driving licence, house insurance etc. you will never know where they are when you need them
- Don’t bad mouth you ex ( even when he has driven you to distraction ) to you kids, they are part of him and will see that as a criticism of themselves
- Find time to do something for yourself even if it’s watching Big Brother for an hour, make this time sacred.
- Time is your precious resource use it well once it’s gone it gone
- Enjoy every moment of you kids childhood it goes so quickly
- Don’t be a slave to your job nobody lay on their deathbed and said “I wish I could have worked more”
- Take lots of photos of everything, your kids , your friends, everywhere you go and everything you do, its lovely looking back at good times
- Make memories with your children they will remember them with fondness as they grow up
- Have private jokes with your children, catchphrases that only you know about, it will bond you as a family
- Take out one of those policies that covers the plumbing drains etc trust me when you are ankle deep in sewage, they are worth there weight in gold
- When your kids tell you there dreams, encourage them and support them 100% it motivates them to succeed
- Teach your children to cook as soon as they are old enough, this will help no end when you come home from work.
- Encourage your children to tidy up after themselves ( I didn’t) and it causes a lot of stress and arguments
- Save up and buy yourself something you don’t need. I put my spare change into a piggy bank I can’t open I call it my “Frippery Jar”
- At Christmas and Birthdays tell you kids how much you are going to spend and let them decide what they want within your budget
- If you have your own place keep it at all costs it’s your investment for the future.
- Make a will , if anything happens you would want to spare your children the worry of sorting out your estate when they are grieving
- Have a film that you watch when you are feeling down mine is “Moonstruck” Cher is in it and it’s wonderful!
- Try and sort your child support payments amicably if that can’t be done work towards not needing them
- Know that your children love you unconditionally even when it feels that they don’t
- Be aware of your moods, and know you can sometime difficult to live with, my kids and I are slaves to my hormones.
- Say no to your kids sometimes. Practice it does get easier
- Beware of married men who want you to make them feel better about their lives don’t let it be at your cost
- Whatever you are aiming for you can get it, be it a job, a man, or a new skill it’s there for the taking. Go for it
- Look after your health, being sick as a single mummy is no fun, have a contingency plan for when you literally can’t get out of bed
- Watch or read the news every day you need to know what’s going on in the world ( and it helps with your general knowledge
- Laugh with someone everyday it keeps you young makes it all worth it
- Keep in touch with your friends their network of support is worth millions.
- Don’t be scared, you can do anything and achieve everything you set out to do.
- Have something to look forward to, it makes life easier when times are hard.
- Stay in touch with your friends who don’t have children be sensitive of their feelings and support there choices
- Don’t take work home, when you are at work, work hard, when you are home, be whatever you want to be
- Have some life insurance be reassured that your mortgage will be paid off. If the worst happens
- Make any tradesmen who come to your home a cup of tea. They love it and it makes then nice to you
- Have one outfit that makes you feel really special, if you haven’t got one get one,
- Enjoy yourself you are amazing , you only have one life so live it, love it and laugh!
Did it help? Do you have any Life Hacks for single mums ( and dads) you would be willing to share I would love to hear from you
Till the next time
Single mum Dawn