40 Life Hacks for Single Mummy Life

Frippery Jar

I have been a single Mummy for eight years and loads of things have happened in that time. Some good things and some bad things.

I got divorced and I have fallen in and out of love (to) many times.

My children have grown into beautiful teenagers who are a joy and a challenge to live with.

I have had highs and lows in my career being made redundant 3 times and promoted twice.

I have struggled with my weight, losing 3 stone and gaining half of it back.

I have made friends, kept friends and unfortunately lost some friends.

I have also a started a couple of blogs and I am currently trying to make my writing hobby  a career.

I have also learnt a lot about myself about live, love and my career, so I thought I would take stock and share some of the lessons I have learned with you in the hope that it will help  you in some way.

So here goes

  1. Do not chase any man, the right man will find you, when you are ready
  2. If a man tells you something you don’t want to hear e.g. “I don’t want a relationship” listen and act accordingly (I have learnt this the hard way)
  3. Make time for your family they are a constant and will always be there for you
  4. Get some sleep, sometimes you will be so tired you will pray for unconsciousness
  5. Know where all your documents are driving licence, house insurance etc. you will never know where they are when you need them
  6. Don’t bad mouth you ex ( even when he has driven you to distraction ) to you kids, they are part of him and will see that as a criticism of themselves
  7. Find time to do something for yourself even if it’s watching Big Brother for  an hour, make this time sacred.
  8. Time is your precious resource use it well once it’s gone it gone
  9. Enjoy every moment of you kids childhood it goes so quickly
  10. Don’t be a slave to your job nobody lay on their deathbed and said “I wish I could have worked more”
  11. Take lots of photos of everything, your kids , your friends, everywhere you go and everything you do, its lovely looking back at good times
  12. Make memories with your children they will remember them with fondness as they grow up
  13. Have private jokes with your children,  catchphrases that only you know about, it will bond you as a family
  14. Take out one of those policies that covers the plumbing drains etc trust me  when you are ankle deep in sewage, they are worth there weight in gold
  15. When your kids tell you there dreams, encourage them  and support them 100% it motivates them to succeed
  16. Teach your children to cook as soon as they are old enough, this will help no end when you come home from work.
  17. Encourage your children to tidy up after themselves ( I didn’t) and it causes a lot of stress and arguments
  18. Save up and buy yourself something you don’t need. I put my spare change into a piggy bank I can’t open I call it my “Frippery Jar”
  19. At Christmas and Birthdays tell you kids how much you are going to spend and let them decide what they want within your budget
  20. If you have your own place keep it at all costs it’s your investment for the future.
  21. Make a will , if anything happens you would want to spare your children the worry of sorting out your estate when they are grieving
  22. Have a film that you watch when you are feeling down mine is “Moonstruck”  Cher is in it and it’s wonderful!
  23. Try and sort your child support payments amicably if that can’t be done work towards not needing them
  24. Know that your children love you unconditionally even when it feels that they don’t
  25. Be aware of your moods, and know you can sometime difficult to live with, my kids and I are slaves to my hormones.
  26. Say no to your kids sometimes. Practice it does get easier
  27. Beware of married men who want you to make them feel better about their lives don’t let it be at your cost
  28. Whatever you are aiming for you can get it,   be it  a job, a man, or a new skill it’s there for the taking. Go for it
  29. Look after your health, being sick as a single mummy is no fun, have a contingency plan for when you literally can’t get out of bed
  30. Watch or read the news every day you need to know what’s going on in the world ( and it helps with your general knowledge
  31. Laugh with someone everyday it keeps you young makes it all worth it
  32. Keep in touch with your friends their network of support is worth millions.
  33. Don’t be scared, you can do anything and achieve everything you set out to do.
  34. Have something to look forward to, it makes life easier when times are hard.
  35. Stay in touch with your friends who don’t have children be sensitive of their feelings and support there choices
  36. Don’t take work home, when you are at work, work hard, when you are home, be whatever you want to be
  37. Have some life insurance be reassured that your mortgage will be paid off. If the worst happens
  38. Make any tradesmen who come to your home  a cup of tea. They love it and it makes then nice to you
  39. Have one outfit that makes you feel really special, if you haven’t got one get one,
  40. Enjoy yourself  you are amazing , you only have one life so  live it, love it and laugh!

Did it help? Do you have any Life Hacks for single mums  ( and dads) you would be willing to share I would love to hear from you

Till the next time

Single mum Dawn

Single Mummy Life- Tackling the Man Drawer

 

Picture the scene- I was having some beds delivered for Teen Boy and Teen Girl and needed to dismantle their existing beds.

This proved to be perplexing job about which I have no clue. My ex used to do this sort of stuff, you know change lightbulbs blown fuses, put together flat pack furniture and deal with tradesman. He used to cut the grass, deal with plumbing and drains and manage the garage. This arrangement was fine until he left and then he wasn’t so keen on helping out.

My ex had assembled Teen girls bed and Teen boy’s had been put together by an ex-boyfriend, I remember both events happening while I was busy elsewhere (probably eating) and I also remembered something called an Allen key ( I had to google how to spell it) being mentioned and knew it might be useful.

I tasked a reluctant Teen Boy with dismantling the beds (he had never heard of an Allen key) so this is why I had to venture into the man drawer.

Michael McIntyre does a very funny sketch about the Man drawer which can be defined as the where men put miscellaneous stuff that might come in handy one day. To do things that men do.

This is where I have to come clean and say I haven’t ventured into the Man drawer since my ex left! It was his territory and his responsibility and as long as I stayed out of it meant that I didn’t have to deal with the stuff he used to do.

The reality of my single mummy life is that I have to pay people to do stuff my ex used to do, I am ashamed of this but it is true, there was man coming to put the beds together that evening so time was off the essence.

The Man drawer was so jam packed it took me several goes to get it open

Here is a list of some the delights I found in the man drawer

  • Batteries various sizes (could be alive could be dead no one knows)
  • At least 3 pedometers (unused) there could be more
  • Teen Girls 1st Holy Communion candle!
  • String (because you never know when you will need to tie something or someone up)
  • Masking Tape (for kidnapping?)
  • A very old mobile phone it’s a Motorola
  • A telephone charger (not for the same phone that would useful and therefore silly)
  • Screws and nails various sizes
  • A membership card for a club that has since burned down ( the club where we met)
  • Glycerine suppositories (!!!) the mind boggles and at some point bowels were loosened
  • A napkin holder
  • A pair of secateurs
  • A few euros
  • Radiator bleeding key that’s not long enough so therefore useless
  • Never sent birthday cards that might one day become useful (is anyone eight this year?)
  • Ink for a printer that we don’t have
  • Instruction manuals for long since discarded gardening appliances

The man drawer is like a memory of things I used to own, the things my ex-husband used to do for me and things we did together, it’s also an accusation about all the things I haven’t done for myself.

No Allen key!! I took everything out of the man drawer and put it into a box and decided that I was going to have a sort out.

The house is now in the kind of chaos that only comes when you are desperately trying to tidy up before someone comes round (the bed assembly man) and you want to prove to the world that your life isn’t a disorganised mess and you really have got your shit together but realise you really haven’t, I noticed that the house needs painting, we need new doors, new windows and I really need to sort out the garage.

I found the Allen Key eventually, Teen Boy did dismantle the beds (it took hours) and the new beds are now assembled (£ 25 well spent).

The house however is in disarray, it’s like an upended dolls house, and everything has fallen out. My task today is regain some kind of order. This may take some time. I will get there though.

The man drawer is no more- Long live the Single Mum drawer!

If I need a dead battery or an Allen Key I will know where to find it!